Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I am back b*tches!!!

This is going to hurt. It pains me keystroke after keystroke. The two things I hate, more than Octomom and the abomination called Kate plus 8, are reading and writing. Hey, maybe I just hate the number 8. Anyhow, for all 3 of my loyal readers, prepare to get some!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

I will be a statistic one day

My brother was upset. I asked what was bothering him. He said he had a dream that I had died in a horrible car accident. I told him "shit Bro, statistics show that one out of every one human will die in their lifetime." This obviously did not help him much. I continued by saying "Bro, imagine if I were Hindu, my epitaph would read 'Oh No Not Again!'" But I am not Hindu so I think I will stick with "Still 100% Accurate."

Sunday, March 1, 2009

More Hair Stories

Neither parent has a dominant gene when it comes to the appearance of thy child. My daughter's mom looks, some say, Polynesian. I look, depending where I am at, Chamorro. When I was in the East Coast people thought I was I a mixture of Filipino, Mexican-Cuban-Vietnamese, with a hue of Spanish from Spain (which I abhor. I’ll save this for another post. No offense Sister Milagro.). Actually if I were a dog, which some say I am, I would be pure breed boonie. Just a note, I have Chamorro, Palauan, Japanese, Filipino, and Spanish ancestry.

My son, according to my sister, looks Tahitian. My eldest daughter looks like, by her account, a terrorist (I’ll save this for another post). My middle child insists she looks just like her Nino. “You look like…WTF?”

Apparently she inherited Japanese traits. She does not look like either of her parents. Although I am convinced her mom really is her mom. I mean, I saw her evacuate from her mom’s vaginal cavity with my own three eyes.

Her Nino is, well, a cross between a Yakuza and that dude that works at Himawari. The funny thing is that my daughter is oblivious to the raised eye-brows she creates, the scandal.

Her mother loves Himawari and I am paranoid. So I got hair samples just in case.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Ah, the Forces of Nature.

In nature, there are several fundamental forces. Examples are strong forces that hold particles together, electromagnetic force, gravity, etc. But there is one fundamental force that is rarely, if ever, mentioned. I call it, PHAS force. PHAS force is the strong bond between pubic hair and soap. The affinity of PH to soap is quite remarkable. I waste so much water trying to wash off rogue ph from soap since I refuse to scratch them off. I have been graced with such great consideration for others, therefore I wash it off. If i had it my way, I would have hirsute soap that look like a black, headless puppy with no arms and legs.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


I try avoiding political and religious topics. Not today. There are folks who believe in natural selection, others prefer intelligent design. Some are convinced the Universe and everything in it was created in 6 days. I want to know about your God(s) or your feelings about it/he/she/etc.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Romeo and Juliet

I don't think anyone wants to hear stories of my children but...
Last weekend my 7 y.o. daughter asked me about a science subject.
So I asked her "Do you know what a molecule is?"
She replied "No, but it sounds like those families!"
I had a confused look on my face.
I replied "What the, what family?"
She answered "The Molecules and the Catholics!"
Kids say the darnedest things.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Just in case... 3+ loyal readers are wondering why I have not posted anything, I am OK! settled.
  • I do not think I have a procrastination relapse.
  • I do not feel the need to share.
  • I am not sure if I am retreating back into my shell.
  • I am not sure if I need to clear the attic.
  • I am sure however that I feel 100x better now than I did a few months ago.
  • Thanks, all three plus of you, for participating.
  • Happy Holidays.
  • Wait, I still owe Bon and Rei beer tokens! How will we coordinate this. Arg!