skip to main |
skip to sidebar
- Yes, this is an actual screen shot of my desktop.
- The signs are everywhere.
- The number of the beast right next to "dasin" and directly below an icon of a sin tax spreadsheet.
- If you are wondering what the "hell" dasin is, it is part of my email address.
- I was about to make a phone call to a client as I noticed this strange combination.
- Guess what? The phone number was ###-2046.
- Figure it out.
- When it comes to the “Green” movement, I belong to the group somewhere in the middle of the bell-shaped curve.
- I am neither a standard deviation to the left nor a standard deviation to the right.
- I don’t hug trees.
- I don’t burn down forests.
- I love trees, especially those that turn into killer coffee tables and bad ass, highly figured musical instruments.
Ideal World:
- Recovering Procrastinator (RP/Happy Face) goes to BMV.
- Pays $25 for renewal of expired (of course) car registration.
- Receives new registration.
- Leaves...
Real World:
- RP goes to BMV.
- Goes to cashier to pay fee.
- No cashier.
- Cashier apparently retired.
- RP walks to courthouse to pay fee (that's right walks!!!).
- Clears the security check point.
- lines up for 20 minutes at the payment center only to find out they do not accept virtual money.
- RP regrets walking to courthouse.
- Walks back to BMV parking lot.
- Opens car, but could barely open the door without causing severe damage to the car next to it.
- Gets check book.
- RP is now incoherent because of possible heat stroke.
- RP hops into truck and drives to courthouse.
- RP pays fee after lining up for 13 minutes 48 seconds.
- Takes receipt back to BMV.
- Lines up for 13 minutes and 7 seconds (Wow, I know).
- RP receives documents.
- RP replaces expired registration sticker simultaneously reciting expletives that would make Richard Pryor (RIP) proud.
- RP is not a Happy Face anymore.
- Proceeds to anger management class.
The End
timing (noun)
A. The regulation of occurrence, pace, or coordination to achieve a desired effect (as in music, theater, athletics, mechanics).
B. Raising the utility rate by more than double just in time to seize the federal economic stimulus tax rebate.
- Last week I was sitting adjacent to an elderly Japanese woman.
- We did not share a word nor exchange a glance throughout the 3 odd hour flight from Osaka.
- When we landed, I noticed she was struggling to get her bag down from the overhead compartment.
- I would guess she was in her '80s but she could have been a super centenarian.
- She had on a thatched hat wrapped with an animal print ribbon.
- She was well dressed and had on heavy make-up.
- Her sunglasses were dark and must have been more expensive than my itouch.
- She looked frail and her back was extremely contorted.
- I wondered how tall she was before the hunching of her back (kyphosis).
- I gently tapped her shoulder to get her attention.
- I offered to carry her bag and hand cart.
- She quickly responded in Japanese followed by hand signals since I was clearly oblivious to what she had to say to me.
- In a nut shell, she told me she could handle it, I guess.
- What's the point? I had great admiration for this super centenarian because she displayed dignity most of us can learn from.
- As we approached the aircraft's exit, she hopped onto a wheelchair and was carted off!
- I am often tortured by the things I dwell about.
- On occasion, the agony is alleviated by random, fleeting thoughts.
- Today, I noticed that a coworker was wearing a crucifix pendant.
- I thought to myself how funny it is that one of our most revered signs is a torture device.
- A sign of Christianity and revered by 2.14 billion Christians +/- 140 million.
- What if Christ was tortured by way of the iron maiden or executed via guillotine?
- Can you imagine doing the sign of the iron maiden?
