Signs, signs, everywhere signs...

• Yes, this is an actual screen shot of my desktop.
  
• The signs are everywhere.
• The number of the beast right next to "dasin" and directly below an icon of a sin tax spreadsheet.
• If you are wondering what the "hell" dasin is, it is part of my email address.
  
• I was about to make a phone call to a client as I noticed this strange combination.
  
• Guess what? The phone number was ###-2046.
• Figure it out.
  

Bell-shaped Curve

• When it comes to the “Green” movement, I belong to the group somewhere in the middle of the bell-shaped curve.
  
• I am neither a standard deviation to the left nor a standard deviation to the right.
• I don’t hug trees.
  
• I don’t burn down forests.
  
• I love trees, especially those that turn into killer coffee tables and bad ass, highly figured musical instruments.

The Resident Alien

Adventure at the BMV

Ideal World:

• Recovering Procrastinator (RP/Happy Face) goes to BMV.
• Pays $25 for renewal of expired (of course) car registration.
• Receives new registration.
• Leaves...
  

Real World:

• RP goes to BMV.
• Goes to cashier to pay fee.
• No cashier.
• Cashier apparently retired.
  
• RP walks to courthouse to pay fee (that's right walks!!!).
• Clears the security check point.
  
• lines up for 20 minutes at the payment center only to find out they do not accept virtual money.
• RP regrets walking to courthouse.
• Walks back to BMV parking lot.
  
• Opens car, but could barely open the door without causing severe damage to the car next to it.
  
• Gets check book.
• RP is now incoherent because of possible heat stroke.
• RP hops into truck and drives to courthouse.
• RP pays fee after lining up for 13 minutes 48 seconds.
• Takes receipt back to BMV.
• Lines up for 13 minutes and 7 seconds (Wow, I know).
• RP receives documents.
  
• RP replaces expired registration sticker simultaneously reciting expletives that would make Richard Pryor (RIP) proud.
  
• RP is not a Happy Face anymore.
• Proceeds to anger management class.
  

The End

Timing

timing (noun)

A. The regulation of occurrence, pace, or coordination to achieve a desired effect (as in music, theater, athletics, mechanics).

B. Raising the utility rate by more than double just in time to seize the federal economic stimulus tax rebate.